“(15), And In Love,” the title of this past week’s writing sketches, came from my correspondence with collaborator Audrey Gatewood. Early on, maybe even in our first exchange, we got to talking about the story line of Saccades, and this character Thea Denny and her relationship with her boyfriend, Cam, and more so, what it is, how it really feels to be in love for the first time. Audrey said that she could relate, even though she’s only fourteen, herself, and I have to say, more than any artist I’ve worked with so far, I think Audrey does have a very personal connection to this character and that aspect of the story. When I look at her pictures, I don’t just believe, I know she knows exactly how it really feels to be fourteen or fifteen and in love.
And it’s true that many of Audrey’s photographs deal with the subject, head on, but the thing about her point of view that blows me away is that it’s not some naive, swirly, rose-colored, heart-dot-above-the-I love, hardly that. Oh, no, no, wherever her wisdom comes from, she’s all too aware of the highs and lows, the light and dark that is part and parcel of being a teenage girl, and just how messy love can be, whatever your age.
What impresses me most is not only the emotional range of Audrey’s work, but just how intense and saturated her photographs are. I mean, on one day, she’ll upload an image that so full of joy, like the picture “BoomBoom,” which is the silhouette of a girl dancing, alone, in a living room at dusk. It’s the movement that draws me in, but in her twirling, raised arms and her long flying hair, the picture reminds me of that explosiveness of any first moment, love or otherwise. The counterpoint are her portraits, particularly those of teenage boys, which are some of the most powerful photographs, the most intimate and poignant images of teenage boys I’ve ever seen. The naturalness and the trust between Audrey and her subject is so personal, so brave, it really takes my breath away.
Time and again, Audry approaches her subject with such tenderness, such an adoring eye, and then, she’ll turn on a dime and create an image that’s bloody and crazed, literally. She never shies from feelings that are violent and disturbed, nor from forces that knock you to the ground, that simply cannot be controlled. In her book, that’s love, too. Very much so.
But really, Audrey doesn’t just remind me what it is to be a teenage girl in love, she photography reminds me how fearless the heart can be. And I’m very grateful to her for those reminders. Thank you, Audrey.
C.E.